Our family’s holiday unwrapping extravaganza is fast approaching. As much as we tried to scale back on gifts to each other and extend our many blessings far into our community, our tree still harbors the evidence of perhaps one too many shopping trips.

My heart was lightened by the recent post on the New York Times parenting blog Motherlode. A Spiritual Defense of Gifts was a wonderful reminder that indulging in our children and our loved ones during this one special, reflective time of the year should be a delight. We should worry more about scaling back our indulgences the other 364 days or so.

With that advice taking up residence on my resolutions to make next week list, I can cruise through these last days of holiday preparations with anticipation, instead of guilt.

The post A Spiritual Defense of Gifts offered another good reminder. This time of year is a wonderful opportunity to teach our children how to be gracious receivers.

The suggestion calls to mind a  game I played with the kids last year, hoping to prevent awkward situations when the inevitability of receiving that less-than-beloved gift threatened to overthrow their sweet demeanor.

There is still time. Play a few rounds of the Gift Exchange game, and enjoy a holiday filled with thank you’s.

1. Gather together some old gift bags, enough for each player.
2. Let the kids “shop” around the house for one another. Remind them to pick special things for their special family members.
3. Have a grand gift opening. Remind each child to say “thank you” as earnestly as possible. Also, ask them to say one thing they like or find useful about the gift.
4. Don’t forget to play along with them. Someone has to model all that graciousness.

In my house, the game becomes a never ending loop. Shop, open, compliment enthusiastically. Shop, open, compliment enthusiastically.

Miss Kindergarten finds a way to complement Little Miss Three on the too small pair of dirty (no joke) smurf socks. “Great, my doll loves the smurfs.”

Little Miss Three did what she could to feign enthusiasm over the utilitarian gifts of nail clippers and a hair brush. “Thanks, this nail is scratchy,” she said holding up an offending pinky finger.

Yes, after a while the game devolved into sillier and sillier gifts, almost anti-gifts really. But the thank you’s kept coming and the practice did teach them to be gracious recipients against all odds.

Last season, when the girls were just 4 and 2, this trick worked beautifully, even amidst the chaos and frenzy of an actual holiday gift opening. Let’s hope it works as smoothly this year, at my house and yours.

Tags: Holidays, Parenting Challenges

About Sarah

Sarah Aadland is striving to make family volunteering a meaningful habit for her family of five. Join the conversation as she ponders what they may (or may not have) learned and looks for helpful information about raising compassionate kids.Though she plans to one day put her Masters in Public Policy back to work for social justice, she sees family volunteering as a way to build a stronger community, a better world, and a more connected family. In addition to her children, Sarah tends a large garden, a small flock of chickens, and a habit of mindfulness amid the necessary rituals of parenting.

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