Literary Toolbox: Above All Be Kind
Above All Be Kind: Raising a Humane Child in Challenging Times by Zoe Wiel is the next parenting book to surface in my bedside stack. Somehow, in the serendipitous way that books often have, it seems to have the exact message I needed just now.
Maybe you’ll find it equally inspiring. Leave a comment here or on our facebook post and you’ll be eligible to win your own copy! 
Now that our family has a handle (more or less) on the demands of the new school schedule, I feel like we need to recommit to living intentionally, as opposed to chasing after the requirements of the next calendar event. This wonderful book provides the inspiration and a few good tools to put ourselves back on a path of intentional, mindful parenting…. and living in general.
In the introduction we learn that humane literally means “having what are consider the best qualities of human beings.”
“The humane child is not materialistic, cynical or snide, and the latest fad does not threaten to eclipse her deepest values. She sparkles with warmth and curiosity. She is gentle, yet also courageous and disciplined. Her spirit is vital, and her heart is full of love.”
Sounds lovely doesn’t it. I’m not convinced that one book can help guarantee all of that, but this book hopes to.
Chapter one details the most commonly articulated qualities for living a humane life. Though I would add an item or two, this is a pretty solid list, and each item is discussed in terms of its best manifestation as well as its barriers:
Willingness to choose and change
- Kindness
- Compassion
- Honesty and trustworthiness
- Generosity
- Courage
- Perseverance, self-discipline and restraint
- Humor and playfulness
- Wisdom
- Integrity
Chapter two helpfully lays out the tools to raise a humane child, including example discussions that have already helped guide me through a conversation or two. This whole section called to mind the much-loved parenting book Love and Logic, a the tools as well as the goals are quite similar. Check out Love and Logic for more pragmatic implementation guidelines of the following “four elements” as Weil calls them:
- Providing Information
- Teaching critical thinking
- Instilling reverence, respect, and responsibility
- Offering positive choices
So, what do YOU think are the best qualities of human beings?
Leave your comment here or on facebook and be entered to win your own copy of Above All Be Kind. Then you’ll be fully equipped for my next post; in a few weeks, I’ll talk about how I’ve been implementing her advice for kids birth to age 6 as well as my efforts to refine my “life message” as she calls it.
Tags: Big Ideas, Grown Up Books
October 20th, 2011 at 4:38 pm
I think the best quality of humans would have to be kindness.
October 21st, 2011 at 1:28 pm
I’d say perseverance and courage rank up there too, after kindness of course!
October 26th, 2011 at 1:59 am
I will definitely add this book to my “to read” list. Recently I stumbled across the following op ed piece challenging the “effectiveness” of empathy and kindness:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/30/opinion/brooks-the-limits-of-empathy.html?_r=1
I absolutely do not agree with the conclusions made by Mr. Brooks, but it did challenge me to think through the true value of empathy. Plus, I always love reading the comments sections of New York Times articles — some well thought out responses.
October 26th, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Thanks Diane, somehow I missed this article. I too love the NYT op ed and comments. … I actually think Brook’s reminder that empathy without action leads us no where is a good one.
Also, his story of the dime, how people who found a dime were much more likely to help others, is a huge argument for Random Acts of Kindness. Leave a trail of kindness, and others will pass that kindness on. Just like in Ordinary Mary’s extraordinary deed (which is now a much-loved book in our house):
http://www.doinggoodtogether.org/index.php/blog/pre-k-book-club-ordinary-marys-extraordinary-deed/