It’s resolution season again. My daughter has resolved to “Heal the World” according to the endearing kindergarten spelling on our chalkboard. My own list is a bit less lofty, but still cumbersome, as yours might be.  Still, let me propose one more.

This year let’s all resolve to grow empathy in our own homes and make the world better in the process – maybe not healed, but healing.

Empathy seems scarce lately. One study from the University of Michigan found a 40 percent decline in empathy among college students compared with their peers from 30 years earlier. Recent headlines carry the tragic consequences of high school bullying and an ominous increase in meanness and aggression as early as Kindergarten. Even unrelated reports of record vitriol on the floor of congress point to growing intolerance and even disdain for others.

Yet there is good news. Empathy is widely considered an inborn instinct, one we can nurture in ourselves and our children. If empathy and its close cousin compassion are both endangered and instinctive, perhaps it is time we resolve to instill healthy empathetic habits in our children.

Empathy, a habit? It isn’t as difficult as it sounds. Doing Good Together.

DGT has done for family volunteering what turning down the thermostat and screwing in an incandescent light bulb has done for the environmental movement. They make the first steps simple, as well as meaningful. This simplicity makes it significantly easier to take the next.

Employing their resources weekly has already made an impact for my family. My two young children, ages three and five-and-a-half, actively look for opportunities to help and to be intentionally kind.

So join me. Make 2011 your year to foster habits of kindness through family volunteering, and share your experiences in the comments section right here on our blog.

Start Simply

We already live in community, and there is no better place to begin teaching young children about warmth, caring, and working together. We all help neighbors plow snow-clogged driveways or walk dogs when they head south for a reminder of warmth. In return, we rely on others to watch the kids during teacher conferences or water the garden during a summer vacation.

Inevitably, we need one another, and each instance is an opportunity to take notice of the good that happens organically. Ask kids to think what life might be like without these extra helpers. Ask them to think of ways they can help too.

In my house, celebrating these acts has become part of every evening’s dinner conversation. We take turns sharing who we have helped and who helped us. This routine inspires the kids to be watchful all day. They often announce dinner time, saying, “I know who I helped!”

Enhance Your Regular Schedule

Check out DGT’s Kitchen Table Activities to find simple ideas for changing the world without changing your schedule. In the beginning, I selected activities to suite our family. Now, the kids often have ideas that go beyond the projects I choose. Small acts of giving have become a routine, a habit even.

Each time, help your children discuss who you’ve helped, how you’ve helped, and how you might feel if you were on the receiving end of your good deed. Even very young children, like my three-year-old, are inspired by such a conversation.

By adding thoughtful, at-home volunteer practices to our regular week, the simple things that fill our days are now full of meaning. We don’t just harvest the garden or shop for groceries; we help feed our community by offering some to the food shelf. Coloring doesn’t just pass the time; it is an act of hope that whoever receives this picture feels a bit happier.

Reach out into the Community

Whether you have an infant or a teenager, whether your family is interested in helping out for a morning or every week for a year, whether your main concern is caring for the elderly, protecting the environment, addressing poverty or hunger or housing issues, there is an opportunity waiting.

Take time to consider what works best for your family, and start small.

Whatever you do, don’t simply volunteer when your kids happen to be along. Do good with your kids. Talk about it. Ask questions. Read some of the excellent children’s books that tackle these big ideas. Bring up the difficult subjects at your child’s level, and answer their questions as honestly as you can.

This is powerful stuff and the impact will create habits of kindness and an increased capacity for empathy that will last long past the 2011 resolutions.

What will your first volunteer activities be in 2011?

How do you plan to grow empathy in  your own home and heal the world in the process?

Tags: Big Ideas, Holidays, In the News

About Sarah

Sarah Aadland is striving to make family volunteering a meaningful habit for her family of five. Join the conversation as she ponders what they may (or may not have) learned and looks for helpful information about raising compassionate kids.Though she plans to one day put her Masters in Public Policy back to work for social justice, she sees family volunteering as a way to build a stronger community, a better world, and a more connected family. In addition to her children, Sarah tends a large garden, a small flock of chickens, and a habit of mindfulness amid the necessary rituals of parenting.

View all posts by Sarah