I recently posted about the Complicated Psychology of Help, not realizing how soon I would be on the receiving end myself.

When the insane coughing cold from you-know-where reached our house last week, laying up both kids and my six-month-pregnant-self, we muddled through as best we could.

Then my parents arrived for a pre-planned family weekend. Knowing the week I’d had, and regretting that they don’t live close enough to pitch in more often, they began to help out. If anything should be simple, you’d think it would be receiving help from one’s own parents.

Why, then, did my mother’s generous efforts to clean my neglected kitchen send me over the edge?

Too often, receiving help feels a lot like an insult. It feels like being told, “Because you so clearly can’t take care of yourself, I will take care of you.”

Of course, no one was saying that to me, directly or through implication. With some deep breathing and pragmatism, I relented, graciously thanking my mother for her help and accepting the time for a nap, a walk, and a night excused from the kitchen.

But how can I really teach my children to be generous, both as givers and as receivers, if I have difficulties accepting help myself?

Practice, I suppose, is the only answer. With a new baby coming this summer, I’ll have an excellent opportunity to model gracious receiving for my children. Instead of muddling through and pretending that all is under control, I hope to take the advice of so many experts and keep a list handy of things I truly do need help with.

We all have our low moments when a little help can make a big difference. As I work to teach my kids gracious giving, I’ll try to hone my receiving skills as well!

Tags: Big Ideas

About Sarah

Sarah Aadland is striving to make family volunteering a meaningful habit for her family of five. Join the conversation as she ponders what they may (or may not have) learned and looks for helpful information about raising compassionate kids.Though she plans to one day put her Masters in Public Policy back to work for social justice, she sees family volunteering as a way to build a stronger community, a better world, and a more connected family. In addition to her children, Sarah tends a large garden, a small flock of chickens, and a habit of mindfulness amid the necessary rituals of parenting.

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