Who Have You Helped Today?
Every day, I try to ask my daughters two questions:
- Who have you helped today? and
- Who has helped you today?
The idea came to me from my teen-aged neighbor. She said the world would be a much better place if every child was asked every day: “Who have you helped?” The idea really resonated with me. It calls to mind the often recommended (but still on my “to-read” list) book Have you Filled a Bucket Today: A Guide to Daily Happiness with Kids.
The second question, “Who helped you today,” is part of our effort to practice gratitude in our daily lives. This is a concept touted in Christine Carter’s Raising Happiness. It shouldn’t surprise me that taking time to be grateful and thankful helps us appreciate our lives more fully. Somehow, it does seem like a revolutionary idea that something so simple can have such a big impact.
The challenge for us has been sticking to the routine. When I say “every day,” I mean “most days” or “as often as I can remember.” With two busy children and a million obligations, every day is a fantasy land akin to Narnia or the Shire. Few non-essential things are accomplished every day.
I want these two questions to be on the every day list. We tried adding them to the bedtime routine. The girls were intrigued, but nearly always too sleepy to say anything but each other’s names. It was actually pretty cute. Who did you help today? My sister. Who helped you today? My sister. In part, it’s true too.
Instead, we moved the little ritual to the dinner table. It offers more conversation fodder than the painfully open ended: “How was your day today?” Miss Kindergarten, only a month into school, has already learned to lay that aside with a dull, “good.”
In contrast, “Who helped you today,” conjures stories of a friend’s dad helping out on a class field trip. Of the librarian helping her find the right book.
Little Miss Three truly loves answering “Who have you helped today.” As a big three-year-old, helping has become her specialty. She can help with just about everything from setting the table and unloading the silverware (when she’s interested… let’s be honest, often she is knee deep in Duplos) to cheering Miss K as she learns to bike ride without training wheels.
Already these questions have added a lot to our lives. They help our whole family celebrate the little things people do for us. They help us all keep in mind that we should be looking for ways to be helpful.
Now we just need to add the daily back into this would-be daily ritual. I have high hopes for dinnertime. I’ll keep you posted.
Tags: Free, Improving Lives, Strengthening Our Family
