How to Have a Season of Presence
Courtney Juvland, early childhood family educator, joins DGT again this month as a blog author and will be sharing more posts with us in the coming months.
As the month turns, many of us find ourselves entering a time of year that is busy, busy, busy–with both regular daily and seasonal activities filling our calendars. Family pursuits such as athletics, the arts, and other skill-building pastimes intermingle with daily rituals of school, work, and keeping a household running smoothly. There are also many holidays observed around the world in the coming months and families add rituals surrounding these days to their already-full dockets. We get busier with the preparation of special meals shared with family and friends, the selection and giving of gifts, the travel plans that require time, and financial resources to bring families together. As a parent, I often find this season to be, well, A LOT.
My work in family education has also given me perspective on how other families can be stressed and overwhelmed by so many details of this time of the year. Young children AND others across the age span can easily become overstimulated–by the sensory overload, the changes in routine, the “go-go-go” in our environment. Whether or not we are preparing for special events, the energy surrounds us. So when I recently hit pause on a busy day and chose a walk around the lake (rather than more items checked-off on my to-do list) it got me thinking of the necessity of “practicing presence” as a tool for families who are looking to focus on doing good together.
Mindfulness is a “psychological capacity to stay willfully present with one's experiences, with a non-judgemental or accepting attitude, engendering a warm and friendly openness and curiosity” (Kabat-Zinn, 2005.) It is a powerful tool for families that has been much explored in the last handful of years and for good reason. We know that regular attention to presence–through breath work, noticing our bodies and the responses we feel in them, and focusing on small sensory inputs from our environment–helps reduce stress, promotes regulation, and assists with attention to tasks. In other words, finding time for a regular mindfulness minute can fuel us to meet the many to-dos with more energy and intention.
Additionally, research shows that mindfulness practice is connected to empathy and compassion–two qualities that Doing Good Together families value in every season of the year. Studies have also shown that “when we’re stressed, scared, hurried, it’s easy to lose touch with our deepest values. By helping us stay attuned to what’s happening around us in the present moment, regardless of the time, mindfulness helps us stay connected to what is most important” (Shapiro, 2013.)
Here are some ideas for families looking to stay connected to presence/mindfulness in the busy months ahead:
1. Focus on experiences rather than stuff.
If gifts are part of your celebrations, why not challenge yourselves and loved ones to focus on experience ideas rather than material goods? For instance, you could spend a day in a state park, volunteer helping care for animals, or shop for a person/family in need. The time spent together focusing on nature or the needs of others will expand their circle of concern and create shared memories.
FREE PRINTABLE: Download and print this free worksheet to record observations and feelings around a fire.
2. Light a fire.
There is something meditative and in-the-moment about sitting together around a fire, whether it be in a fireplace, outdoor space, or even a candle. As you supervise and facilitate, you and your children can notice the sights, sounds, smells, and feelings associated with fire. You can practice family rituals of story-telling, prayer, music, books, family remembrances, or any other things you value together. It can be a cozy, reflective time of presence in a busy season and renew your energy for busier times ahead.
3. Connect with nature.
In this great exercise from Berkeley’s Greater Good series, people of any age get outdoors and imagine themselves as trees as they breathe deeply, take in the sounds around them, and feel/see the sun’s warmth and energy. You can facilitate the experience by reading the printed script OR experience it alongside your children by using the provided voice recording. It is a mindfulness practice that can be enjoyed in any season… if you’re in a colder part of the northern hemisphere, just add more clothing! The skill of noticing will keep you and your child more attuned to the world and people around them.
Mindfulness will bring more empathy, kindness, and positive energy for all the many activities that your family encounters in a busy season. Focusing on presence–rather than presents–in the coming months will be a gift that keeps on giving for your children and yourselves.
Works cited:
Kabat-Zinn, Jon. Wherever you go, there you are: Mindfulness meditation in everyday life. Hachette Books, 2009.
Zenner C, Herrnleben-Kurz S, Walach H. Mindfulness-based interventions in schools-a systematic review and meta-analysis. Front Psychol. 2014 Jun 30;5:603. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00603. PMID: 25071620; PMCID: PMC4075476.
Shapiro, S. “Does Mindfulness Make You More Compassionate?” Greater Good, https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/does_mindfulness_make_you_compassionate, 2013.
https://ggie.berkeley.edu/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/GGIE_Be_Like_Nature.pdf (mindfulness tree exercise)
Courtney Juvland has an MEd in parent and family education from the University of MN and teaches in an early childhood family education program in the Twin Cities. In addition to her work, her three human children are her life’s joy.
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