Buckling up for a metaphorical bumpy ride from time to time as you enter a new job, experience a change in leadership, or encounter a developmental growth spurt is something that begins at birth and follows us until life’s conclusion. The winds of change blow strong. With children, we sometimes don’t see the changes themselves right away; instead, we see the impact of the changes in personal barometers of behavior and mood. How can we as supportive humans respond effectively to the need for change and see the purpose behind the disequilibrium?
People want and need to be seen. It is a fundamental characteristic of humans that we seek opportunities to connect with others in an authentic way. We want to feel noticed and valued as a member of the human community. We want to understand AND be understood. This connection is vital to our feelings of safety and happiness, and ultimately is foundational to our ability to work through challenges, think critically, be planful, and other executive function skills. How can adults use that in-born inclination to shine a light on actions that we wish to reinforce in our children?
As adults, we have a better sense of what is within our locus of control and how we can approach solving problems from our mature perspective, whereas young children see a lot of problems as big and insurmountable even if they are not. The good news is that we can cultivate the growth of our child’s sense of helpfulness over time in ways that match their developmental stage, while teaching about both agency AND the interconnectedness of humanity.
in the last few years, I have worked diligently to cultivate a growth mindset and to model that approach for my teenage children. The basic idea behind this concept is that by using “yet” at the end of a sentence, we reframe our approach to problems and retrain our brains to see challenges as opportunities to learn and grow.
The world in which we are helping our children to grow is not free from adversity, small or large. We cannot shield young people from the troubles of their community and world. And while it might make us caring adults feel better to try, research shows that doing so is not to their benefit, either. Children are innately curious and working continuously on relating to others as their empathy skills develop. They wonder about big questions like, “how am I similar or different to people I see suffering,” “could that happen to me,” and “my heart hurts for them; how do I help them.” Many who witness tragedy or challenges faced by other people in the world ask the same questions. How do we explain problems like poverty, mental illness, systemic racism, and violence to these small humans?
As adults, we have a better sense of what is within our locus of control and how we can approach solving problems from our mature perspective, whereas young children see a lot of problems as big and insurmountable even if they are not. The good news is that we can cultivate the growth of our child’s sense of helpfulness over time in ways that match their developmental stage, while teaching about both agency AND the interconnectedness of humanity.
Research shows that families who co-create mission statements and continually revisit their shared values feel more connection to one another and a sense of responsibility to others. It also aligns with the values of families who are Doing Good Together! Does this sound like something you and your family would like to try? Here are some tips to encourage you in writing a mission statement that reflects your family’s values and centers your efforts to identify and continually practice your family’s mission.
As the month turns, many of us find ourselves entering a time of year that is busy, busy, busy–with both regular daily and seasonal activities filling our calendars. Family pursuits such as athletics, the arts, and other skill-building pastimes intermingle with daily rituals of school, work, and keeping a household running smoothly. There are also many holidays observed around the world in the coming months and families add rituals surrounding these days to their already-full dockets. We get busier with the preparation of special meals shared with family and friends, the selection and giving of gifts, the travel plans that require time, and financial resources to bring families together. As a parent, I often find this season to be, well, A LOT. Here are some ideas for families looking to stay connected to presence/mindfulness in the busy months ahead.
At times, my now-teenagers had a great capacity to step into the shoes of another; but at other times, I felt that despite my best efforts, empathy was lacking. I also noticed that their empathy skills developed differently, despite having the same parents and upbringing. How did what came so young and so naturally for one child seem so challenging for another?
Self-care may conjure visions of bubble baths and movie nights (two creature comforts I fully embrace), but there is lots of evidence that a few intentional wellness strategies can help us feel great even in the midst of chaos. These five strategies can help you cultivate your whole family’s sense of well-being.
At Doing Good Together, we help families start and sustain an intentional “ kindness practice,” a powerful combination of daily habits, big-hearted conversations, great books, and volunteer experiences. Starting - and sustaining - an intentional kindness practice with your busy family is easier than you’d think. Here are the tools to get you started!
At Doing Good Together™ we love to find ways to make a difference, not occasionally, but regularly, as part of the hobbies and habits we already pursue. Here are four easy ways you and your little one can make a difference with this summer's family vegetable garden and three essential reasons to make gardening your favorite family hobby!
For nearly fifteen years Doing Good Together has connected parents with essential tools to open a thoughtful dialogue with their kids. We've seen time and again that by reflecting on our experiences, volunteer efforts, and everyday interactions, children develop strong skills in compassion and problem-solving.
I’ve been working with Doing Good Together for a long time, long enough to know how important it is to grow strong roots of kindness and courage before that first day of school. Habits of kindness will help forge new friendships. Regular volunteering gives kids a strong sense of empowerment, as they see themselves as helpers. This self-reliance translates to courage in the classroom, as well as on the playground.
