Summer Bag of Tricks: Butterfly Birthday

For two summers now, I've led the girls through theme days to break up the (usually wonderful, occasionally monotonous) non-routine of summer. We've been ninjas and celebrated a bit of Japanese culture, we've been cavemen (um, cavegirls). Even pirates. We spent a few days last summer in character as the cast from The Magic Tree House.

This year we've celebrated the fire department, advocated for endangered species, posed as mermaids, created public art, and become kindness fairies.

Not all of our days have made it to the blog (I've been busy chasing Mr. Toddler). But they've all been memorable, recorded or not.

Our theme days usually begin with a costume. Always, we find a silly snack or lunch recipe to go with our theme. Often we make up a song. There are usually books, role playing games, and even the occasional field trip.

I always love passing the title of activity leader off to Miss Second Grader.

This week, she noticed that our monarch chrysalis, created by the first caterpillar she found on her own, was changing rapidly. It turned dark and then translucent, in the time it took us to eat breakfast. A final phase of the butterfly's transformation, telling us that the butterfly would soon emerge.

"It's butterfly day!" My second-grader exclaimed. "Let's have a butterfly birthday!"

And that's exactly what we did.

We read books about caterpillars and crafted butterfly decorations for our nature table. We wrote acrostic poems about butterflies, helping little Miss Not-Quite-5-In-Time-For-Kindergarten with her letter sounds.

And then, all of our waiting paid off. Miss Second Grader noticed a twitch. Then a crack.

"She's hatching!"

We watched in wonder as the wrinkly, soggy wings of our caterpillar-turned-butterfly emerged.

Of course, the snack was butterfly birthday cake.

(Nutritionists, please look away).

I actually allowed my children to feast on strawberry marshmallows topped with ready whip (left over from a neighborhood tea party) and sprinkles. In my defense, I felt reasonably sure that singing happy birthday to the butterfly before diving into our little sugar bombs indicated to everyone that this was a special occasion not to be repeated on any other random Tuesday.

While the butterfly's wings dried, we walked through our local park. Our plan was to hunt for other butterflies or caterpillars, but the call of summer lured us away to bike races and pool play.

The day ended when we let the birthday girl go. The whole neighborhood clapped and cheered as her brand new butterfly wings carried her over our garden fence and out into the wide world.

I look forward to the next child-selected, child-led theme day. There's nothing quite as satisfying as watching the kids take charge of their own curriculum and throw themselves into learning and play with such enthusiasm!

Kinder Book Club: Spaghetti in a Hot Dog Bun

This is a re-post from last fall. This book remains one of my kids' favorites (and spaghetti in a hot dog bun is one of their favorite silly meals). Check out the author Maria Dismondy's blogand website for excellent kindness and literacy resources. Just in time for the new school year, and the attendant social pressures, I stumbled across another great book.

Check out Spaghetti in a Hot Dog Bun: Having the Courage to be Who You Are by Maria Dismondy (author) and Kimberly Shaw-Peterson (illustrator).

This is exactly the sort of book that I once maligned (See Ordinary Mary, the very first Kinder Book club book). It's exceptionally sweet, it's message is the primary point, and it even comes with a list of "Be Kind" and "Be Yourself" proclamations in the end.

My appreciation for such books has grown in the last year (see Ordinary Mary's reappraisal), and this is an exceptionally well-done message book. As it turns out, kids, at least my kids, respond to this straight-forward, lesson-in-a-book sort of story.

Don't get me wrong, they love fabulously entertaining stories as well (check out our latest favorite, multiple Caldecott winner David Weisner). Still, we've had Spaghetti in a Hot Dog Bunfor a couple of months now, and both girls often dig it out from their bedside book pile.

This simple story is about lovely, unique little girl who gets picked on by the class bully. When the bully finds himself stuck atop the monkey bars, our little friend is prepared to go tell him just how mean she thinks she is... that is, until she sees the tears in his eyes. She overcomes her own hurt feelings to help him out of his trouble, and in the end, she has made a new friend.

Though real life might not always unroll so easily, this story does, in fact, give kids the courage to be who they are. Whenever we finish this book, I try to ask a few pointed questions:

  • How do you think Lucy felt when Ralph picked on her?
  • Why do you think Ralph started teasing Lucy?
  • What would you feel like doing if someone made fun of your lunch the way Ralph did?
  • Lucy tried to tell Ralph how she felt. How did he react?
  • Do you think it was easy for Lucy to help Ralph when he was stuck?

Bullying has been all over the news, thick in our state legislative discussions, and headlining teacher training conferences all year. Find some additional resources to help your child understand and address the issue of bullying as it arises this years.

  • StopBullying.gov- This website offers a very simplistic message to both the bullied and the bully, but as I've seen, kids often respond to the most straight-forward approach. There are also helpful resources for teenagers, parents, and educators.
  • Education.com - This website offers more extensive tips and tools for parents.
  • National Bullying Prevention Center - This is a project of the PACER Center, whose helpful resources are distributed to parents and parent educators on every parenting topic you can think of.  Some of their classroom activities and songs would be useful for those of us who spend a lot of time at home with our kids, including a downloadable color book.
  • Alarms.org - This site offers an excellent, simplified exploration of cyberbullying and what parents can do to prevent and address this growing problem.

Have you read Spaghetti on a Hot Dog Bun with your kids? How do you address the issue of bullying with your family?

Q & A Friday: Boring!

Welcome to Q & A Friday! Where big-hearted parents like you need your help!

Join me in sharing your experience, suggestions, or additional questions in the comments section.

We'll all do our best to help each other out in the spirit of raising more compassionate, civic-minded kids in an age of cynicism.

We've tried to set aside time for an easy, at-home kindness project.

My (6-y-o) daughter's reaction to decorating bags for Meals-on-Wheels was "that's boring."

How can I inspire her to participate?

~Andrew, St. Louis, MO

Our Favorite 5 Big-Hearted Election Books

There is no avoiding it. The political season is heating up. The observer-of-human nature in me is wishing for a Rip van Winkle-style sleep elixir that could carry me through to November (or December ?) when the result is finalized and we can all attempt to move past the vitriol. Instead, I simply remind myself over and over again that beneath our varying opinions on the way this country should be run, the vast majority of this country shares the same hopes for our children and our grandparents.

The mother in me is looking for a way to make sense of this process for my children. Nothing sets the stage for a thoughtful discussion with a 4 to 8-year-old quite like a good storybook. So here are our families favorite 5 election-related books. Feel free to add your favorites in the comments!

Duck for President, by Doreen Cronin:

This is one of our favorite books! This nutty story can be a starting place for teaching big ideas or for silly giggles. And as a parent, you'll find yourself making your own list: "at the end of each day he was covered with grass clippings, coffee stains.... "

If I Ran for President by Catherine Steir:

Six children discuss what they would do if they were running for president, describing the election process all the way from making the decision to run to being sworn in on Inauguration Day.

Grace for President by Kelly DiPucchio

Sure to be in nearly every classroom this fall, this book is my favorite combination of great storytelling with a lasting message. When Grace discovers that there has never been a woman president of the Unites States, she decides that she will run for president one day. Her teacher encourages her by holding a school election.

We the Kids by David Catrow

Though it is meant of an older audience, Little Miss Four enjoys the pictures and the whole family learns a little something. With laugh-out-loud cartoony illustrations, and the actual words of the Preamble as the only text, Catrow depicts a camping trip taken by a diverse, bumbling group of friends, demonstrating the rights and responsibilities the Constitution places on all Americans, young and old.

My Teacher for President by Kay Winters

This book is a perfect way to teach kids about presidential responsibilities, elections, and the power of writing a letter to the editor. If enough of us read this one, Oliver's teacher just might win with a write-in vote this November!

What election-related books does your family enjoy?

Q & A Friday: Reflection and Family Volunteering

Welcome to Q & A Friday! Where big-hearted parents like you need your help!

Join me in sharing your experience, suggestions, or additional questions in the comments section.

We'll all do our best to help each other out in the spirit of raising more compassionate, civic-minded kids in an age of cynicism.

We volunteer as a family monthly, but I have a hard time getting my 9 year old to have meaningful conversations about what we've seen and learned. He usually answers my questions with the obvious "here is what mom's looking for" answer and an exasperated tone....

How can I get him to be a little more thoughtful?

~Elizabeth, Broken Arrow, OK

Test Subjects, Kindness, & the Scientific Process

This summer, we're a family of guinea pigs. Like you (I suspect), we are fans of curiosity, of science, and of teaching the art of independent thinking to our children.  Thanks to the wonderful university at our finger tips, each of the kids has participated in at least one study at the Institute of Child Development. I've talked to more than a few friends who have signed their kids up as well.

Our trip to campus was an outstanding field trip for the kids. Our participation in the studies gave the girls, especially Miss Second Grader, an opportunity to think about the research process. She even asked a few questions of the researchers we met.

Plus it gave us a great opportunity to talk about a unique new way to volunteer our time. As Little Miss Four said, "if they can study us and a lot of other kids, maybe they can help us all learn and grow really well."

Well put little one!

Here is a great link to get your kids started with sociological research.

If you participate in or conduct studies of your own, be sure to help your kids think through the potential impact of this sort of science on other children and families.

Summer Bag of Tricks: Endangered Species Day

These last days of summer seem a little manic.  Lately we have been racing through our "summer bucket list," making impromptu appearances at the many amazing fairs dotting the map, and tackling back-to-school organization efforts. Even as the school year casts a long shadow of the dog days of summer, we're taking a little time for some DGT-style fun.

Look out Fire Safety Day and Magic Wand Day, Endangered Species Day was a completely kid-driven day of educational fun.

It began when Little Miss Four brought her tiger and cougar figurines to breakfast. I mentioned the word endangered in my endless "mom chatter" (You know what I mean, right? Tell me I'm not the only mom who catches myself mid-sentence wondering  how I got from "do you want raisins in your oatmeal" to "I wonder how many varieties of grapes can grow in Minnesota?)

The next thing I knew, we were executing Endangered Species Day. Here's what we did, i case you'd like to join us.

Step 1: Research

  • EndangeredSpecies.com: Spend time learning about endangered animals with your child, then follow one of their great suggested activities.
  • World Wildlife Fund: Research specific species and discover how you can help protect them.
  • U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service: Look locally for endangered species in your own state with this interactive map.

Step 2: Take Action

Thanks to the suggestion of EndangeredSpecies.com the kids were inspired to take immediate action. Miss Second Grader led the effort.

  1. The girls discovered endangered animals native to our own state.
  2. They created Endangered Species artwork, drawing a picture of their selected animal as well as its primary threat.
  3. Then we sent our drawings along with letters to local and state representatives.

This was as fun and engaging for my four-year-old as it was for my seven-year-old!

Step 3: Field Trip!

We're fortunate enough to have two local zoos within a half hour of the house. Both are dedicated to informing visitors about the animals they host, intentionally working to inspire the next generation of environmental stewards even as they research solutions to current problems. After a morning of research about the meaning of the word "endangered," Miss Second Grader read every sign and jotted down a few notes, while her younger siblings pointed and waved at our exotic neighbors.

Step 4: Meatless Meal Makeover

Our second-grade-level research it clear that habitat loss is the leading threat to most endangered species. And habitat is being cleared at a dizzying pace in order to feed the world's growing population.

According to the UN's Food and Agricultural Division, diets rich in meat and dairy account for 40% of global land use and 70% of fresh water use worldwide. Swapping out a few meals each week with vegetarian alternatives may be one simple way our family can make a difference right away.

Thankfully, the kids will gobble up brown rice and black beans with just a few spices. That has become a lunchtime staple. For dinner on endangered species day, I fixed my favorite vegetable lasagna, with nearly all of the produce plucked straight from our garden (clearly a habitat-friendly option).

Building a whole day of fun around one basic lesson or idea has helped us make some unique memories this summer. This is a method that definitely gets our whole family thinking, talking, playing, and problem solving about big issues.

Getting Warmer

Welcome to the Big-Hearted Families Blog! I'm so glad you've popped over to our blog.

I do hope you are enjoying the rest of our wonderful new site. It is full of  resources, tools, and inspiration to keep your family practicing kindness even on the busiest of weeks.

For the moment, Big-Hearted blog posts can still be found over at Doing Good Together. Follow us on Facebook for post updates or check back a few times a week to see what's new.

I especially hope you check out the Q&A Friday posts, where we need your expertise to help other Big-Hearted Families like YOU!

Starting September 1, this will be the home of Doing Good Together's Big-Hearted Blog. Welcome to the conversation!

 

Big-Hearted Gratitude: Backyard Bounty

If you dabble in gardening, I'm guessing you just might share my family's gratitude this week: backyard garden treasures. Whether yours is a container garden on the patio, an ever-expanding section of the yard, or even simply a favorite stall at the local farmers market, take a moment with us to be truly grateful for summer produce!

Routinely practicing gratitude is a wonderful way to pause and really notice the best bits of our everyday lives. A habit of gratitude is proven to make us happier, less stressed, and even physically healthier. Not to mention the increase in generosity that naturally comes from a feeling of contentment and thankfulness.

Join me each week as my family takes a moment to practice gratitude.

Q & A Friday: Big-Hearted Chapter Books

Welcome to Q & A Friday! Where big-hearted parents like you need your help!

Join me in sharing your experience, suggestions, or additional questions in the comments section.

We'll all do our best to help each other out in the spirit of raising more compassionate, civic-minded kids in an age of cynicism.

Could you recommend some chapter books (for my 8 and 10 year olds) that we could read as part of a compassionate family book club?

~anonymous, Duluth, MN

Caring & Kindness: Everyday Lessons

Habits of kindness make it so much easier to teach caring in between volunteer gigs.  And lets face it, even with the best of intentions that gap can sometimes get out of control. Establishing these habits of kindness is what Doing Good Together, and our soon-to-be launched website Big-Hearted Families are all about.

Maria Dismondy author of Spaghetti in a Hot Dog Bun and the Juice Box Bully hosts a character trait blog every month: Make a Difference Monthly. Bloggers from around the country link up their own ways to teach that character trait, creating a compendium of expertise on each topic.

This is my contribution, to that worthy effort. Pop over to Maria's site for the linked contributions. They are impressive in their quality, in their kindheartedness, and in their ability to inspire.

In the meantime, here are the three habits my family has adopted that make conversations about caring and kindness happen every day.

Who have you helped today? Who has helped you? Make time every day for this simple set of questions. Ask at family dinner or after bedtime stories. Be sure to offer your own answers. Even the youngest family members will learn to watch for the simple acts if kindness that make each day better, as both givers and receivers of help. In our family, we all watch for opportunities to help so we have an answer next time the question comes up!

Rubbish Race: I posted this year's ago, and it has since become a feature of every walk. I carry a plastic bag and a lonely garden glove everywhere I go, and the kids don't tolerate any bit of trash lingering in their path. We are stewards, caring for whatever patch of earth we happen to be occupying.

Happy Mail: Like Maria in her own "Caring" post, kind-hearted mail is one of our favorite ways to share kindness. Our letters make their way to nearby neighbors, far off family, and strangers in need of a pick me up thanks to Hugs and Hope.

Books: Like most families, we make time to read every day. Our latest favorite caring book is Miss Tizzy. Check it out!

Big-Hearted Gratitude: Summer Adventures

Routinely practicing gratitude is a wonderful way to pause and really notice the best bits of our everyday lives. A habit of gratitude is proven to make us happier, less stressed, and even physically healthier. Not to mention the increase in generosity that naturally comes from a feeling of contentment and thankfulness. Join me each week as my family takes a moment to practice gratitude.

We're grateful for summer hikes... for kids excited enough by bugs, branches, and burrows that a two-mile stretch of river and woods takes three hours to explore.

What is your family grateful for this week?

Bring up our theme tonight at dinner and share a sentence or two in the comments section.

Q & A Friday: Siblings and Family Volunteering

Welcome to Q & A Friday! Where big-hearted parents like you need your help!

Join me in sharing your experience, suggestions, or additional questions in the comments section.

We'll all do our best to help each other out in the spirit of raising more compassionate, civic-minded kids in an age of cynicism.

We want to volunteer as a whole family, but our kids are 14 and 6. One is constantly moving and the other is quiet and shy. One likes animals and the other is a sports nut.

How do we find a family volunteer opportunity that won't make one of them unhappy?

~Shannon, Little Canada, MN

Meals on Wheels: Timing is Everything

Ever since my third baby was born, our family volunteering efforts have been mostly confined to the kitchen table (you can find loads of ideas for at home projects right here). I know, I know... he's a year old. It's time for us to move out into the world. And we will. Both of my daughters have been asking repeatedly to deliver for Meals on Wheels again. Though it has been a little over a year since our last deliveries, the girls are full of fond memories of our former route.

Our time will come. We'll probably start that adventure next summer when a) Mr. Toddler is steadier on his feet, b) when his napping schedule no longer runs into the 10:30 to 12 delivery time, and c) when Miss Second Grader can come along to help lead him around.

Until then we'll marvel at our neighbors. My inspiring neighbor just signed up as an on-call MOW family. When the local center is short of delivery people and her family isn't otherwise engaged, she loads up the troupe and off they go.

You can see how much they enjoyed the adventure. There were smiles all around when they returned.

Because their stories are getting my girls excited about the Meals on Wheels mission again, we'll be doing a few at home mow projects. Join us! And share your story!

1) Decorate lunch bags (to carry the MOW dessert - just deliver to the local MOW site for distribution)

2)Decorate Placemats (for the MOW recipients - just deliver to the local MOW site for distribution)

3) Follow Meals on Wheels on FB for updates on other short term needs they may have