Practicing Gratitude

We've been practicing gratitude as a family for a long time now. Years. Though our commitment seems to wax and wane along with everything else in life. A few weeks ago, Little Miss and I gathered leaves from each tree and shrub in our yard, plus her favorite strawberry plant. We flattened and dried them. Then we covered them in contact paper and threaded them along some garden twine. The idea originated at this link on The Chocolate Muffin Tree.

They make a lovely decoration in our dining room. Plus they are a great conversation starter during dinner, when I grab a sharpie and ask everyone to share a gratitude. One by one our leaves were filling up.

Somehow the Halloween hullabaloo knocked us out of this habit. I've ignored the leaves and conversations about gratitude for more than a week.  Oops.

Then last night when we sat down to eat, Miss Second Grader jumped up without a word, grabbed a marker, and, in her very best group leader voice, asked, "Okay, what is everyone thankful for? We have a lot of leaves left!"

She was so effective at prompting us all, we covered all the remaining leaves that night! We're going to have to scavenge a few more leaves to make it through the month! It's always a joy to watch one of my projects become a routine she treasures.

How has your family's gratitude practice been going? Share your project ideas or discussion suggestions!

Hurricane Sandy Update from our Friends at Points of Light

"How can we help?"

It's a question my family has been asking one another over the past week. It's a question Big-Hearted Families has been getting from members and pilot families and parents brand new to our resources.

I'm re-posting the following information from our friends over at Points of Light. Their links take you to specific volunteer or material donation needs, which is excellent.

Those of us that live far from the affected region can do the most good with that least glamorous of service activities: fundraising. If your children are interested in helping, check out the following projects, complete with discussion questions, book suggestions, and detailed steps to get started.

• Host a Fundraiser
• Get Fit for a Cause
• Create a Giving Box

Get you friends and neighbors involved. Make it meaningful.

And let us know how it goes!

 Points of Light is working closely with our HandsOn Network affiliates and partner agencies to identify volunteer opportunities in the communities impacted by Hurricane Sandy to ensure a coordinated response. Please note that due to the number of people interested in volunteering, as soon as an opportunity is identified, it is filled. We are working with national and local partners to identify more opportunities in the midst of our current challenges, including transportation issues, lack of fuel in the area, identifying volunteer housing and massive power outages. These challenges make it difficult to get teams out to assess the need and scope projects. While we are working diligently, please understand it may be a few days before we increase the number of projects in the impacted area.

In the meantime, there are additional ways you can engage now:

• Register your interest to volunteer. By registering with our affiliates, you will receive up-to-date information, including when new volunteer opportunities are posted
• Donate in-kind supplies and materials
• Donate to local relief efforts
• Host a local fundraiser and donate the proceeds

We request that you do NOT self- deploy to the impacted region at this time. Given the above stated challenges if you do deploy you should have an opportunity and housing identified prior to arriving. As volunteer housing becomes available we will update our website with that information.

5 Stories to Inspire Gratitude

Gratitude book list

Gratitude... 'tis the season, right? I do think it's helpful to have a holiday devoted to giving thanks, even though I aspire to a year-round practice of gratitude.Expressing gratitude, even out of obligation, helps me clearly see the abundance of love, of comforts, and of freedoms that surround me. Research shows that people who regularly express gratitude are happier and healthier than their counterparts, regardless of measurable wealth.

To that end, here are a few books to inspire a gratitude conversation with our children. They also happen to be wonderful stories. Don't forget to scroll down for a few additional recommendations for older readers, plus discussion questions to get you started.

Please share your recommendations in the comments! 

quiltmakers gift

The Quiltmaker's Gift by Jeff Brumbeau (Pfeifer-Hamilton).

A very talented seamstress makes beautiful quilts for the poor and the homeless When the king who has everything decides he must have one of her creations, she tells him he must give away everything; then she will give him a quilt. In the process of shedding his many possessions, the king finds true happiness. No summary can do justice to the mesmerizing, fairy-tale quality of this beautiful tale.

the table where rich people sit

The Table Where Rich People Sit by Bryd Baylor ( Aladdin Picture Books).

As her family attempts to calculate the value of the desert hills, the colors of blooming cactus, and the calls of eagles and great horned owls, a young girl discovers that her impoverished family is rich in things that matter in life, especially being outdoors and experiencing nature.

too much noise

Too Much Noise by Ann McGovern (Sandpiper Books).

Gratitude versus "I want more" is simply a matter of perspective. This exceptionally simple story makes that clear. When the old man searching for silence is told to bring home a variety of barnyard animals, even the youngest child can see the folly in his quest

Greedy triangle

The Greedy Triangle by Marilyn Burns (Scholastic Bookshelf).

Follow the greedy triangle to learn how wanting more and more  and more can change your life in ways you might never expect. And reinforce those basic geometry skills along the way.

money tree

The Money Tree by  Sarah Stewart (Live Oak Media).

Miss McGillicuddy's simple country routine continues through-out the year in spite of a very unusual tree growing in her yard.

As you read, I invite you to use our discussion questions to help your children consider a sense of gratitude, its importance, and why it can be so evasive:

• Why is it so easy to forget the many things we are grateful for when we discover something new that we desperately want?
• How can we remind ourselves to be satisfied with the good things already in our lives?
• What if we woke up tomorrow and only had the things we expressed gratitude for today?
• What is the difference between what you need and what you want?
• Is it wrong to want something more when you have so much?
• What would you do with a money tree if one appeared on your doorstep?

If you have a little extra time, try one of our related activities. Consider creating a Gratitude Garland or take time to write thank yous to people who have inspired your gratitude.

where the mountain meets the moon

Independent readers, their parents, and even young ones willing to sit still for chapter books, will fall in love with Where the Mountain Meets the Moon  by Grace Lin.

Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF... Goes Bust

I have to fess up. My intention to Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF with the kids this year was a failure. Actually that implies I tried it without success. In fact, the lovely UNICEF boxes remain in the folder near my kitchen radio under a pile of other half-finished kid crafts.

Why does this sort of thing happen?

I thought this sounded like a wonderful project. I signed up. I fully intended, even as of noon yesterday, to follow through. I talked to the kids about how we'd do it....

Then I didn't give it another thought. Between feeding and dressing three little monsters up in their costumes, then doing my best to keep up with them as they wandered the neighborhood, I didn't have 30 seconds of thought to give to anything else.

Bummer.

Maybe this just isn't the project for us. I always get a little queasy when preparing to ask others for money, even when the cause is admirable. The kids are pretty reluctant fundraisers too.

In contrast, everyone in my house is all excited about our new match in the Family-to-Family book program, so I'll use that enthusiasm to ensure success in that project!

Did anyone else have better luck or find an easier way to turn Halloween chaos into a force for good?

5 Big-Hearted Treasuries

Why treasuries, you might be asking. I find collected stories or poems to be incredibly handy. I keep one in the car for road trips or the unexpected traffic jam, relying on my second grader to entertain the crew. I toss one in the diaper bag, regaling my weary little people in waiting rooms all over the city. When we're traveling, it is so nice to pack one book without sentencing myself to retelling the same story every night.

Clearly, I rely on them. It's a desperate attempt to keep the kids from noticing the DVD player in our new(ish) vehicle.

Brace yourself for this bit of news: I'm not even going to include Buddha at Bedtime. I've posted and linked to it enough times now you're sure to have stumbled upon it. It remains a favorite in our home, but I've decided to make room on this top five list for some collections you may not have run into just yet.

These stories are all so different from one another, a common set of discussion questions doesn't seem feasible. Certainly feel free to use the comments section here to  share the reflections you've shared with your children.

Children's Book of Virtues by William J. Bennett.

Clearly, this is a classic. You may have read it as a child. Former secretary of education William Bennett shares stories, fables, and poem conveying virtues we all hope to share, including courage, compassion, and loyalty among many others. Some of the stories are very familiar (Aesop's fables) others are quirky and new, at least to me. One or two I may have excluded, but on the whole, this is a wonderful book to read and discuss together.

I can make a difference: a treasury to inspire our childrenby Margaret Wright Edelman.

This collection is exceptional. I posted about it long ago, and it is still one of my go-to books. Again, I love the combination of stories, poetry, and art.

The works in this treasury do not simply teach and inspire. They are literary jewels, beautiful in and of themselves, and I am always delighted to sit down with my children to savor words so perfectly crafted.

James Herriot's Treasury of Inspirational Stories for Children by, obviously, James Herriot.

The author of All Creatures Great and Small brings us eight heart-warming, occasionally heart-breaking tales. My little animal lovers went nuts for these stories, and though we had to return it to the library all-to-soon, it just might show up under the Christmas tree.

While morals and virtues are not so heavily emphasized in this collection,  the stories easily lend themselves to big-hearted discussions.

Kids Random Acts of Kindness by Conari Press.

This collection is sure to inspire your family's next kindness activity. Nothing motivates kids - or adults - like a good example, which is exactly what these stories provide. While they may not be classic children's literature, they will certainly spark the spirit of giving.

Tales of Wisdom and Wonder (with CD) by Hugh Lupton.

The musical CD included with this collection makes it ideal for road trips or traffic jams.

And I promise, it will captivate your audience. This book features seven stories from a variety of cultures. They are expertly crafted, perfect for reading aloud repeatedly to young children. And, as the title declares, there is a bit of wisdom in each tale to get a conversation started.

Trick-or-Treat with UNICEF!

Our UNICEF boxes arrived this week! Has your family done this project? Do you plan to? We attempted it a few years ago, without much enthusiasm from the kids. But they are older and wiser now, so we're giving it another chance.

Check out the complete Big-Hearted Families guide to making this activity meaningful for your whole family.

Also, in case you missed it, don't forget to check out our 5 Big-Hearted Halloween book recommendations.

Operation Paperback

Here is an excellent project to inspire your young readers, support our troops, and talk about citizenship and patriotism during this election season. I'm re-posting this from last fall, assuming that if I needed a reminder of this outstanding family volunteer opportunity, you might too. Also check out the Guest Post from Andrea Hoshmand McAfee, Vice President of Operation Paperback, Check out Operation Paperback for a great project that doesn't take long and is energizing for a young, enthusiastic reader. 

Miss First-Grader is consuming simple chapter books at a pace that puts me in the mood for a good Nancy Drew. Her new-found love of reading (especially the Pony Crazy Princess and My Weird School series) has her so excited that Operation Paperback seemed like the perfect way to spend a little bit of our MEA weekend.

This girl already looks forward to her time spent reading before bed, so she had no trouble imagining that soldiers, far from home and family, would enjoy the distraction and comfort of a good book.

This project was so easy.

First, we asked our friends and neighbors to contribute any good paperbacks they could.  We also picked a few off of our own bookshelves. We had a big box full in no time! My little reader loved this part, checking out titles, putting a couple of books aside to read when she's older (Anne of Green Gables, Wicked). Beware, though, I did have to censor a few back covers on the more thrilling murder mysteries.

Next, we signed up on the Operation Paperback site. Once you are a registered volunteer, this can be an easy, on-going project. In fact, we haven't mailed all of the books we collected yet - we ran out of the right sized box. As we get more, we'll send more. When you have a few books and a little time, just pop on the site, let them know what genre of book you have, and get the name and address of your recipient. Oh, and they offer easily printable labels for the books and a cover letter.

Then, we packed our boxes. We sent two, adding four mystery and crime novels in one and four history and memoir in the other. We also added the Operation Paperback cover-letter and a drawing from Miss First-Grader.

She actually struggled a bit as she wrote her thank you letter to the soldiers. She asked an important question.

"Mom, war is a bad thing, right? Then why are we helping the soldiers do war?" What a conversation starter. This was a great opportunity to talk about supporting our troops for their brave service even as we advocate for peace. It is such an important distinction. We talked while she drew a lovely, peaceful landscape. When she stopped asking questions, I let the subject drop, and she wrote a sweet thank you note.

Then, because it is Halloween season, she insisted on adding a few chocolates.

Finally, of course, we mailed the packages. Each box required a customs form, which took an extra couple of minutes. Thankfully, sending them as media mail meant that each package only cost about $3 to send.

Let's hope our soldiers like the books and the chocolate. I know my daughter and I enjoyed spending our time together sending a little kindness and some good stories into the world.

Tools, Tips, & Inspiration

Big-Hearted Families is ready for its national debut. In the coming weeks, watch for Facebook updates, press releases, blog posts here and on other, like-minded websites, all sharing the details of Big-Hearted Families.

Today, you can check out a post over at VolunteerSpot featuring our work.

Of course, you already know the wonderful things available here. If you like what you see, now's the time to spread the word about everything Big-Hearted Families has to offer!

• Family Meeting tools to get your family talking about service and kindness;
• Project "recipes to make those first efforts as easy as possible;
• Active "comments" sections, where parents like you share what they've learned and how they have adapted projects to suit their family's style and interests;
• Kindness activities and extensive resources, making it easy to be big-hearted in everything you do as a family;
• a monthly newsletter full of ideas and inspiration; and
• Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest updates that offer new ideas daily.

Gratitude: Practice becomes Abundance

The psychology of happiness is getting a lot of attention these days. Check out the book Raising Happiness by Christine Carter if you want the details. Essentially, we can all adopt healthy psychological habits that promote happiness, just as a habit of exercise promotes physical fitness.

Practicing gratitude is one of those simple paths to happiness. What an exceptional gift to give our children, teaching them to want and love what they already have in their lives.

Such a practice miraculously turns a sense of "wanting more" into a sense of abundance, a sentiment that is both healthier and more accurate.

Usually, our family takes time at the end of each day to reflect on what we're grateful for, but that habit has lapsed recently.

I'll blame the chaos of the back-to-school schedule.

To reinstate this our effort, I turned to the Gratitude Garden project at Big-Hearted Families.

Of course, this being fall, we chose to do a fall-themed version. We covered leaves gathered during a recent walk with contact paper, essentially laminating them. Using a hole-punch and garden twine, me made a lovely vine to decorate the dining room. Each night, we take turns reflecting on at least one specific thing we are grateful for, adding it to the vine with a dry erase marker.

Well, the goal is to add a gratitude nightly.

Last week it happened  three times. Still, it's an improvement over the zero gratitude reflected on during the previous week.

The children generally enjoy this opportunity to share their thoughts. So far, they've added their new cousin-to-be, school friends, and macaroni and cheese to their leaves. I'm looking forward to a fall full of colorful gratitude.

Get more ideas for a gratitude practice, including some really beautiful gratitude trees, over at our Pinterest board.

How does your family practice gratitude?

Connecting with Kindness

The fall schedule is bursting into full swing, and the best tool I've found to make our family time meaningful is kindness. I'm not trying to be overly precious, or trite. Or predictably the Big-Hearted Families ambassador you all know I am.

I'm being honest. We (regrettably) still haven't taken on any of the larger volunteer projects on my to-do list: a Meals on Wheels route, a monthly shift at the food shelf, or visiting the local nursing home. Maybe as things settle down, we'll carve out time for that. But here are three simple things we've have done in the last two weeks that have brought our whole family closer together:

1 book + 1 recipe + 1 kindness activity

1) September Book Club fun:Spaghetti in a Hot Dog Bun has been a around in our home for a long time. It was fun to dig it out as part of the September book club.  This book lends itself to rich discussion, especially at the start of the school year. Plus, the activity for this month, creating a kindness chain, has made each evening special.

The kids are sharing many small moments of their school day that they might not otherwise bring up, and even us grown ups are sharing more with the kids than usual. It's been a great way to connect.

2) Take and Bake: A few of our new neighbors have had some major life events recently. Baking bread or muffins and gathering a few garden goodies to share has been a great way to get to know our community a little better, share a little homemade, homegrown love, and spend some messy time in the kitchen as a family.

3. Upcycling. Check out our new Pinterest board, Kids Can Up-cycle.  In preparation for next month's book club activity, we've been exploring way to reuse t-shirts, and talking about the importance of keeping everything we can out of the landfill. This has sparked a lot of creativity, and a few notable improvements in our home recycling system.

Even when it seems there is no time for a BHF project, keep in mind that small kindness activities like these can be part of the regular schedule and make family time both joyful and meaningful.

Your Big-Hearted Stories

We're hearing from so many big-hearted families doing many wonderful projects and activities. I'm grateful for everyone's contributions not only because they are strengthening our offerings here at Big-Hearted Families. They also keep me motivated to try new projects with my own family! I hope they do the same for you.

I spoke with one family that is busily preparing Halloween decorations for two nursing homes! What an inspiration, and what a great way to help a craft-loving child put their skills to good use!

Another family we know worked to Feed Hungry Minds this week, donating books (complete with notes from the family), to a local charity.

Many families are establishing regular habits to make good deeds part of their family routine. Setting up a dedicated "giving box" for a local food shelf or homeless shelter is one of the most popular ways to do this.

Check out Traci and her family's effort to place a "give" box in every closet, keeping donations at the forefront of their thinking.

And when you get a moment, share you story with us, either in the comments section here or straight to my inbox at sarah.aadland@doinggoodtogether.org. Thanks!

Take a (Nature) Hike!

I love autumn. The range of colors in the park and along the boulevards makes my heart sing. I love the crispness of the mornings as much as that unexpected and all-too-brief heat wave in the middle of a sunny fall afternoon. Last week, I packed up our whole family of five and trundled them into the woods. As the baby gets older, I hope to live by that wonderful John Muir quote:

Keep close to Nature's heart... and break clear away, once in awhile, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean.

Not only does time spent in nature "wash your spirit clean" as I experience it.... It lends itself to the discovery of an amazing array of natural treasures. Especially in the fall.

My kids are hoarding leaves, acorns, seeds, dried berries, fallen needles, pine cones... the list goes on and on!

We've taken the kids on a hike almost every weekend in the past month. A good bug net, a bug "habitat" (or a plastic container with holes in the top for air and some grass in the bottom), and a willingness to let the kids set the pace make these hikes a lot of fun.

As you might guess, we cover about a mile an hour. Along the way we see, touch, smell, and listen to every inch of the trail.

Whether nature walks are a regular part of your family life or are vying for space on your list of things to do this fall, here are a few activities to make your next nature walk even more fun. (I've pinned them all right here, so take a look there if you'd rather have a visual explanation!)

• Big-Hearted Families Scavenger Hunt: I'm not biased or anything, but this list has the widest array of searchable things. It's also challenging enough for older kids to enjoy. The discussion questions and ideas for further action are totally unique!
• Gather ingredients to make Nature Paint: Flowers, grass, leaves, seeds... and paint. What a wonderfully messy activity!
• Family Fun's Trail Tote: Paint an egg carton with a variety of colors and let it dry. Then try to find a natural treasure to match each color.
• Make a Nature Walk Bracelet: Wrap a piece of tape sticky-side-out around your child's wrist. Stick treasures to it as you walk. Then cover it with saran wrap when you get home.
• Or check out this wonderful list of 12 fall, nature walk crafts:  There are so many ways to inspire your kids to love nature!

Enjoy breaking away for a while!

Big-Hearted Gratitude: Fall Color

This week, we are thankful for color and the wonders of nature.

What is your family grateful for?

Routinely practicing gratitude is a wonderful way to pause and really notice the best aspects of our everyday lives. A habit of gratitude is proven to make us happier, less stressed, and even physically healthier. Not to mention the increase in generosity that naturally comes from a feeling of contentment and thankfulness.

Join me each week as my family takes a moment to practice gratitude.

And share your story!

Your Big-Hearted Stories: Birdseed Cookies & More

More and more families are making room for kindness and service on their family calendars. Whenever possible, I'll share their stories with you! One family we know decided to designate Thursdays as a weekly time for service, hoping that commitment would turn into a routine.

Mom, Nicole,  gave her six-year-old an option of simple projects, and he chose Birdseed Cookies.

They were all set.

Then the inevitable happened. With dad out of town and the business of everyday life stacking up, Thursday came and went without the cookies.

Mom planned a do over on Friday. By then, everyone was worn out, coming down with the sniffles, and generally grouchy.

As she tried to talk her son into the activity, Nicole tells me:

We talked about past service projects and my son told me that his personality is such that he only cares about himself. My heart sunk.

We've all been there! Especially when their overtired, kids know just what to say to push our buttons!

But mom tapped into her reserve stores of energy, or perhaps simply willed this kindness activity into being.

With some music, and the delightful, sensory messiness of mixing  birdseed cookie dough, both mother and son began to unwind.

After a busy, rather disconnected week, they ended it with a flourish of kindness, some hilarious dance moves, and laughter that forged the family connection we are all after.

Again, Nicole tells me,

I was reminded that this is the kind of quality time together that I love. Time well spent and a lesson about taking the time to do well for others.

 

Interested in more personal stories? Check out these blog posts from other big-hearted families:

• The "Giving Thursday" Experiment
• We Have a Big Heart

Share your story, either in the comments below or at sarah.aadland@doinggoodtogether.org and inspire more families to make time for kindness and service, even on the busy weeks.